Transitioning from being an adult to having your own family is without doubt one of the most uncertain times of your life. Many people jump in without a care and take the changes in their stride, however most people don’t handle uncertainty well, change is often stressful and there is no way of knowing how things will unfold for you as a person or a couple.
Hypnotherapy can help to take away the negative thoughts, emotions and fears, leaving the path clear for more rational decision making. Maybe the timing is right, but you just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared, to have some tools to call on when you want to feel relaxed and confident, to increase your chances of a stress free pregnancy and birth.
Are you putting off starting a family?
Do you feel pressured into starting a family but worry about the loss of your identity, your career, your freedom?
Perhaps you are worried that you won’t be a good parent, maybe you haven’t had great parenting role models and you are concerned your experiences will be repeated?
Are you fearful about the how a pregnancy can change your body?
Do you feel complete panic at the thought of childbirth?
Or maybe you just have a sense that something’s not quite right, like an inner voice expressing doubts?
These are all very common reasons for pausing for breath before taking the plunge into parenthood. Whatever your reasons, you can feel free to discuss them openly without judgement. All too often we make decisions without considering the consequences, so just the fact that you are taking it seriously is a great sign that you will do what it takes to make it the right decision for you.
Are you having fertility issues, TTC, unexplained infertility, or considering fertility treatment?
If you have been trying to conceive for some time and not been successful it’s likely that you would start to research online possible fertility treatments, all the acronyms and medical terminology such as; A.R.T. (Assisted Reproductive Technology/Treatment). I.V.F. (In Vitro Fertilisation) A.I. (Artificial Insemination), O.I. (Ovulation Induction), F.S.H. (Follicle Stimulating Hormones), I.U.I. (Intra Uterine Insemination), I.C.S.I. (IntraCytoplasmic Sperm Injection), G.I.F.T. (Gamete IntraFallopian Transfer), and F.E.T. (Frozen Embryo Transfer) can be quite confronting. So as if your concerns that you aren’t already pregnant weren’t enough, your mind can go into overdrive about what possibly lies ahead for you. Your rising concerns and fear of the unknown can lead to changes in the delicate hormone balance that your body requires to conceive in the first place. Hypnotherapy can help you to relieve anxiety and as a result help to restore the hormonal balance that your body needs. However the addition of psychotherapy and rapid change techniques can address underlying issues (that might even be held in your subconscious) allowing for so much more than ‘calm blue ocean’ relaxation, facilitating a beneficial shift emotionally or psychologically.
Have you been trying to become pregnant without success?
1 in 6 couples experience some form of infertility, if that includes you then I’m sure you’ll recognise that it’s a time packed full of conflicting emotions; frustration, anxiety, hope, anger, guilt, anticipation, and grief, are very common. Hypnotherapy can help you deal with the rollercoaster of emotions that you’ll be experiencing. Whilst it is an intense time for both partners, it can also be difficult to talk about, especially when your partner doesn’t seem to feel the same way as you.
Many people compound their negative emotions by blaming themselves, or feel ashamed that they blame the other partner, whilst it can be natural, such emotions are not helpful, and as a couple it is important to maintain your communication so that you can support each other.
Family and friends can offer well–meaning advice that just adds to the pressure or simply highlights how they have no idea what you are going through, or how you are feeling. And as a result you might stop confiding in them or even withdraw from seeing them.
Maybe you have been to see a fertility specialist, or are undergoing treatment?
Is your fear of needles enough to stop you seeking infertility treatment?
Perhaps you are about to start treatment using A.R.T. (Assisted Reproductive Technology), or maybe you’ve been unsuccessful up to this point.
Many people try an assisted fertility treatment and after an unsuccessful attempt, start to assess how else they can increase their chances. Western medicine will start with addressing the physical factors that influence fertility. Ensuring you eat well, are an optimum weight, and generally fit are all great starting points as nutrition, health and lifestyle all have an impact on your chances of becoming pregnant. Many allied therapies such as acupuncture and Chinese Medicine can help reset the natural balance of your body to give yourself the best chance to become pregnant. However, we all know that trying to conceive is a time when you face great uncertainty and can be extremely stressful.
To add to the mix, you can no longer rely on your usual coping mechanisms, such as your morning caffeine fix, or cigarette, your anxiety can seem to spiral as uncertainty is the only certainty and somehow your emotional and psychological health can be overlooked. It has long been known that stress and anxiety create an increase in our flight or fight hormones, Adrenaline and Cortisol and these upset the delicate balance of hormones, (in males and females), that are needed to facilitate conception, and maintain a pregnancy. However, simply being told ‘you must stay calm’, ‘be more relaxed’, and ‘try not to worry’ are not going to have any effect. More and more research is showing the benefits of hypnotherapy for fertility.
Hypnotherapy can help you to achieve a calm and deeply relaxed state and can teach you to be able to feel more in control, and to create a positive mind-set that will help you to deal with the potentially turbulent times ahead.
Perhaps you are pregnant but have some issues to work through?
Maybe you have had previous pregnancy loss, miscarriage, terminations, or stillbirth?
Pregnancy loss is tragically too common and often not discussed. Many people mistakenly think that now you are pregnant, a previous loss will have no impact on you moving forward. As a midwife and mother who has personally experienced both early and late–term pregnancy loss I have an understanding of some of the issues that can be so hard to articulate. And while every experience of loss is individual, sometimes it is just valuable to know someone who has been through it too.
Perhaps a previous birth was unpleasant, maybe even traumatic, and you feel fearful of this impending birth?
As a Midwife working on a large labour ward for many years, I have witnessed thousands of births, I have seen how what seems to be a calm and textbook experience can be perceived as traumatic, and vice versa, some women seem to take in their stride some emergency situations, perhaps for them to feel differently with hindsight. But my knowledge and experience can be invaluable in helping you to debrief your previous experience and help you, to use that to move forward.
Maybe you are just freaking out because all the birth stories you hear sound so scary?
Knowledge is power, and when you know that you can prepare for the unpredictability of birth you can start to feel reassured that birth does not have to be a traumatic event full of drama. It can be awesome, empowering, life affirming and beautiful. If it’s something you are interested in achieving then check out my ‘A Focused Birth’ Hypnobirthing program that includes; individual hypnotherapy sessions, antenatal education workshops and access to many resources and hypnobirthing recordings for a positive birth experience.
Do you have a phobia about some aspect of what you will be going through? Needle phobia, fear of vomiting, fear of blood, fear of hospitals, fear of pain or surgery.
All of these can have a profound effect on your anxiety levels for this pregnancy. Most phobias can be addressed fairly easily and can enable you to stop focusing on the negatives and allow you to continue your pregnancy with a more positive mindset.